A gift or a curse, I've no idea, but I'm currently living most of my life in the 'here and now'. The only long term plan I seem to have is to continue to launch, catapult and turn loose, my noisy, messy, opinionated kids/blessings out into the world.
So, why am I dating, well, for the here and now, I guess (said with a shrug). The companionship, the fun and ability to share today's life with someone else, as it turns out the messy stuff as well as the fun stuff. Oh, yes and for that spark that only a man does bring into my life.
It seems, that there are more things I don't know than do know! (And do not a one of you tell my kids I said that!) I know the following about dating at 49:
1- it can drive you crazy
2- it can make you feel young
3- it can make you feel old
4- it can make you feel pretty
5- it can make you feel alone
6- it can be fun
7- it can be empowering
8- see number 1
Things I do not know:
1- if I'll ever get married again
2- if I'll want to get married again
3- if I'll move and if I do, where I'll go
4- what I'm doing in two weeks, let alone on Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter or for that matter my birthday (still 6 months away) the big 5-0!!!
My point is this, I maybe over doing this 'just for today' attitude, but to some extent it is really all I can handle right now. Today, although we as a family seem to be dealing with some crazy stuff life's thrown our way, we are okay. We've a roof over our heads, there's food in the refrigerator and the kids are pretty great!
....and there is a man I'm dating who thinks I'm pretty great too, well life in the here and now, may just not be so bad.
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