I will be the judge of that

There are some things only another can judge. Sure, if a man says that he is 'sexy' that says a lot about his self-confidence. However, it does not really say anything about whether he is sexy or not.

I find when reading men's profiles, if he says he is sexy, my immediate response is... ho-hum, next.

However, I am a single mother of teens, a single owner of dogs and a single (well, me and the bank) owner of this house. So when I read a profile that says he is 'handy', I get kind of excited. Just think... a man that could unclog the garbage disposal or knows how to change the light switch! Whoa, now that is sexy!

A middle of the road gal

Reading profiles is like listening for an accent. I guess I'm just a regular middle of the road gal.

If the man's profile says, "He just likes kickin' back and cruiz in it" (and yes, this is how he spelled everything), I'm pretty sure we're not a very good match.

If it says that he, "am an intelligent and sensitive man looking for love in all its manifestations but especially in the guise of a beautiful..." I'm even more sure that we are not a good match. I am college educated but I do not converse in this fashion (how was that)?

OR:

"I am looking for a single unatached woman able to hold an intelligent conversation about something I find interesting, That can..." Again, been to college, but I'm not interested in doing this!

I will be the first to admit that profiles are hard to write! You want to be real, but stand out, but be honest and sincere and yet don't get lost in the pile.

The ones that are for me fit in two catagories.. funny or just plainly honest. Real examples...

"I am a Knight in rusty armor with a good sense of humor, I am also a 52 year old, not bad looking, guy who just moved back..."

or

”By the grace of God, life is meant to be enjoyed and that enjoyment is better when it is shared."

What can I say, I guess I'm just a middle of the road simple gal.

Being Honest

I just saw the funniest profile, but at least he was honest. He is 61 and never been married, does have one child and is looking for a STR. This stands for Short Term Relationship. He claims to be 'lusty' and wants to point out that he has never been married.

This 'Prince' is certainly not carrying a glass slipper, hopefully he is carry a condom.!

Who said there'd be days like this.....

It was NOT my Mama, as she'd never have been one to understand this Internet dating thing. To tell the truth, other than those of us who are single and willing to enter into this other realm, I'm not sure anyone really understands it.

I am having a Jr. High moment. Remember Jr. High? Did you like it? Were you taller than all the boys? Did the only one that asked you to dance or be their girl friend or look at you twice, was the kind of odd one?

I'm pretty sure that Internet dating is harder on tall women and on short men, well dating in general is harder on them, after all our numbers are more limited. Yes, I know stereo types or whatever, it is a comfort level thing and we want what we want.

Just consider this my day of stomping my feet and being frustrated with patience. Patience is just not all it is cracked up to be!

Just a few more bad pictures...

Since I wrote the last entry, I've seen a few more photos that just had to be included!

A profile that had more pictures of the man's cats than of himself

A profile with one picture only, the man was in his car (I am assuming it was him) and you couldn't see him, just the car.

Do you know how many men don't seem to be able to smile? That alone is scary!

If you've read this you know how I feel about 'wife beater' shirts, well, as though they are not bad enough, I just saw one that topped it! A 'wife beater' and a cowboy hat.

Some advertise "Just Do It", today's advertisement from me? Just click "Next"!!

My Unsolicited Advice!

GET a FRIEND!

No one should be allowed to put up pictures for a profile with out a friends help, advice or clearance!

I am going to assume that women put up some pretty stupid pictures as well, but I'm only looking at men. Here are this week's pictures that I did see!

In no particular order, they were all bad:

Old guy with no shirt trying to bench press, messy bedroom in the back ground. (A lot wrong with this one).

Close up of their tattoo.

X-Ray

Baby picture

The muscle T (at our age, not a good idea)

The guy flexing

High school picture

And don't get me started on the shirtless pictures....

God's sense of humor

I am one of those women that like almost all sports. I prefer to watch Football and Soccer, yet I'm happy at a baseball game and I could probably even get into hockey. I do NOT like car racing. Never have and it has not grown on me over time. My ex-husband was the kind of guy that did not like sports, except... yep, you got it.... car racing!!! It is noisy, dirty and the only time it gets interesting is when someone crashes, so that is not really good. It doesn't get better live, it just gets louder and the crowd gets scarier.

When he moved on to his place I honestly thought to myself, "I'll never have to watch racing again!" (Said with the utmost glee).

So the first man I dated more than once, loved..... car racing! However, that is long over...

The thing is....

do you know how many profiles of men who seem reasonably sane, intelligent and possibly a decent match, not only like car racing?

They've all got pictures of themselves with the car they actually RACE!!!

Lord, you do have a sense of humor! Can't I just find a reasonably attractive, somewhat bald guy with a good attitude who golfs?

Those towns

I am going to admit to being prejudice. I hate to say it, but it seems to be the truth.

There are some towns in So. California that I just do not like. I don't like to go to them, drive through them, or have anything to do with them. I guess I am a snob. I like towns that do not have a mini/strip no character mall on every corner. Cars parked on the dead lawn, because the cars in the driveway don't run. Pit bulls and weight lifting equipment also in the front yard, I guess the beer cans have filled up the back yard. They speak a different dialect there as well and most of it would still not be acceptable on prime time TV.

This is not my version of Mayberry.

When I come across 'matches' from these towns, I tend to shutter a bit and click next. Yes, I'm jumping to conclusions, but what's a gal to do? There are just some ponds this lily pad "ain't" floating in.

The economy

Well, the economy must be hard on the scam artists too. There seems to be more of them, and they are getting more creative, but not necessarily smarter.

I got the standard 'Hello' fishing line from one of them the other day. Now the problem is this guy couldn't even get his story straight in one paragraph. One rule of scamming is that if you say you have one child, a 10 year old daughter in your introduction, you should still have that in your summary. When your only child is then a 12 year old son, even we the slow and old tend to catch on.

A date today or not...

I am 50 today.

There is no 'man' date. But I count so many blessings and my glass (well, currently coffee mug) is more than half full! I am blessed by you, my friends who continue to encourage and enjoy my ramblings here on this blog.

I am blessed by friends who have called, written and send me best wishes.

I am blessed by my 2 brothers and 2 sisters who have sent me flowers and sent me a gift certificate to grow more flowers, fueling my passion for digging in the dirt.

I am blessed by my wonderful children, who tease me about being old (with a twinkle in their eye), stick up for me, brought me coffee and peanut butter toast in bed, plan to learn how to make my favorite dinner (old family recipe) and who are the light of my life.

I am blessed by all that is still yet to come here on my lily pad.

I am blessed by my Lord's love for me.

thank you for being a part of it,

Lola ;}

If pictures speak a 1000 words....

I've heard it said that men do not read what you write, so keep your profile brief. To some extent that does make sense, I tend to glaze over a bit with profiles that go on and on. Some men even say if there is no picture and they will not respond. I don't blame them there either.

Pictures are extremely telling and we all want to see them. Are they too poised? Fake? Funny? Real? or Scary?

However.... I'm just wondering.... if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, perhaps I should include some pictures of my famous meatloaf?????

Motor cycles

I drove by 3 guys standing around a motor cycle talking and looking at the bike. I realized that this is NEVER something you'd see women do! You just know they'd all lowered their voices an octave and were saying stuff like, "Oh, yeah, it's headers are heady and the torque is sweet. She just screams on the mountain roads. Grunt. Scratch".

Now I finally understand why on their profiles they have pictures of their 'bikes'....

they think we care!

What 'they are looking for'...

I can find these funny or scary, but either way, probably not a match for me....

Some quotes of what men are looking for, specifically written in black and white in their profile:

- likes to motorcycle and is good at setting up the camp site

- someone with good grooming

- an IQ of 135 to 150

- outgoing attractive female

- easy going, fun, no drama

- Nice looking mature peaceful loving and patient Christian man looking for new wife

-The woman I am searching for will have experienced the pride and accomplishment of attaining her collegiate educational goals. She may have extended those goals in pursuit of continued education, formal or otherwise, a goal for which I would be the cornerstone of support. She would be radiant and self confident, a person that is or has experienced professional success and desires a partner that is likewise focused and continues to be ambitious in all endeavors.

- I would love to meet someone that is honest and sincere with a kind heart and a gentle spirit.

Ya, I like the last one....

Wink

What the heck is a wink on the Internet? Match.com has a feature where you can 'wink' at other people's profiles. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?????

Is it a:

polite hello, saw your profile, good luck?

a wolf whistle from the entire construction crew?

an I'm not really single, want to have an affair?

I'm too lazy to write anything, why don't you start?

I'm shy and I'm hoping this goes somewhere?

I'm not really real, but I'd love your money, wire directly to Nigeria?


I've received 32 winks. I have no idea if that is good or pathetic. The reality is that it doesn't matter, because these have gone no where, which is probably safer for me. I know that a lot of men don't understand this whole wink thing either, because some of their profiles even say, "No winks, please". Good for them, they are probably the save ones.

The thing is, in real life, I love a wink. It is a bit like a hug from across the room, as for the Internet, I have NO idea!

ah, well, have a great wink-full day! ;}

Circumventing the system

Internet dating sites are a business, thereby they charge you a fee to belong. They do let you 'browse' for free. On many you can even put up a profile for free. If you want to communicate with the other members you need to be a paying member. Now that really does not seem unreasonable does it? The fees to join? Well, usually a six month membership is a bit less than a nice dinner date. You have options to even pay by the month or quarter. Again, not unreasonable. After all, they are selling 'true love' here!

There are some men (they get picked on because I'm not on the site looking at the woman's profiles) who place a lot of effort to getting around paying this fee. They put up their profile and act like paying members, but somewhere in their profile, they tell you that they are 'currently not able to respond on this website', but you can reach them at blah, blah, blah @ blah-blah, if you are interested. This is where they get creative and give you their email, in a cryptic fashion. So, you have to figure out their email, then contact them, etc... just to find out they are a user and probably a cheapskate to boot.

My advice when you see that, grab your wallet and run for the hills.

I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore...

This time I had decided to use a different site. The numbers where very high there, so it seemed like a good decision. Now, I'd seen this sight before and wasn't too crazy about it. There was something a bit 'shallow' with the sight and I'd heard that some people used it to find dates while still married on this sight. Now that can go on anywhere, so I tried to 'stomach' it all and give it a try. What can I say? After 5 weeks it still doesn't seem like a good fit.

There is a huge percentage of men 'matches' that all live in New Port Beach. Now how can that be??? Yes, I am a bit naive, today I finally realized that they are not all being truthful. Ahhhh, ha! They probably live 'close' to New Port Beach and as we know 'close' is a relative term. I'm not even interested in dating anyone at New Port Beach anyway! Do you know how long it takes to get there?

Why don't we just start a site that is called "Shallow.com" This will be great for people who think living in one town is better than another, telling the truth is optional and using people, just part of life.

I think it is time to pack my profile and find a better fit.

Laid back

Honestly, it is not all that easy to write a profile about one self. However, if I read one more man's profile that states they are a 'laid back guy', I am going to scream. What does that mean anyway?

It does not necessarily mean patient, calm or understanding.

In my experience I'm pretty sure it means that they are 'laid back' in the Lazy Boy recliner and would like someone to bring them a 'brew'.

Oh No!

Oh no, it has happened! Last night on a dating site I saw a friend's husband. Yuck, yuck, shmu..... double darn.

I have not been in close contact with this friend so for all I know, they may well be separated, however, I know they are not divorced and there is just something stinky in La Crescenta. Our sons birthday's are just a few days apart and so the boys are 17. In his profile he says his son is 18. Either he truly is clueless or is trying to seem.... more available??? He also states he is 'drama free'. Yeah, I don't think so!

And yes, I do intend to let my friend know...

No Weird-O filter

I've been on a few different sites now and have yet to find one that has a 'weird-o' filter. 'Weird-o's exist everywhere, and yes I know to some, I am the weird-o. Sites are like stadiums at a college football game. We may all be there to watch the same game, but we're not all rooting for the same team, happy with the same hot dogs, or even want to be sitting next to the loony stranger who we've got to endure for the next 3 hours.

You may be familiar with the term "Equally Yoked". I do want to be 'equally yoked', so I've been to 2 different Christian sites because of this. You'd think this alone would be a great 'weird-o' filter. I have one word for that thought.... NOT!! The sites have a much smaller population than other sites and a much larger 'weird-o' factor, sorry Lord. I'm glad you love them, but once again 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and I do not want to be holding any of them.