New

Dating sites seem to be redefining the English language. "New" is a pretty simple word, or so I thought, silly me.

Apparently 'new' can mean a variety of things. Mostly it seems that 'new' just means, well, nothing... When does someone stop being 'new'? The dating sites have no understanding of the word 'new'. Yahoo! personals (who I used to like) sends me 'new' matches by email a couple of times a week. Wow, what a deal! Except, here is the problem, these guys are not 'new' and I saw their profile months and months ago. What makes them new? Why don't they just be truthful and say, "Hey, here's some old guys you might have missed".

Not only is there apparently a 'new English language', but apparently Yahoo! has its own 'new math' as well. The email heading today said, "We're sending you 6 new matches". The email itself had 2 'old' matches and 4 random guys that were not a match, but in Yahoo!'s esteemed wisdom declared these matches 'close'. Gee, thanks. However, 'close' only counts in Horse Shoes and Hand Grenades.

Criteria for a good match

Some day I hope to run out of information for this blog, but until then....

I was checking out a different site the other day and ran into a new set of criteria for picking the 'perfect' match. Yes, it made me giggle... ready?

Do you recycle?

Not only do 'you recycle', but do you do recycle at work? at home?

Followed by, "How would you feel dating someone who was not as concerned with the environment as yourself?"

This was a 'regular' site, not a special matching site for Green Peace singles.

In my opinion, even recycling is not a cut and dried issue, and is subject to one's own definition. In my family, I have a 'tree hugging' sister (yes, she has the arrest to back it up) who lives in Oregon. Her idea of recycling is reduce and reuse and she is leading the way on this issue. On the other hand I have an ex-sister in law who lives in Oklahoma. Her idea of recycling is to clean out the car while you're driving. Toss it out the window as you go down the road and scream, "bio-degradable" while you do so.

Actually, for any long period of time, both extremes make me uneasy. Once again, I've fallen into the middle ground, me and my big fat bio-degradable lily pad.

Someone...

There must be truth to the saying that there is someone for everyone, because I've just been to Disneyland and saw them.

Pretty Pictures

If I see one more overly (truly opinionated) good looking guy, poised, built (yeah, not just 'fit', but 'built), beach/pool shirtless picture, I just might go crazier! Even if these guys are real, I want someone normal.

Bring me a regular real man, someone a little bald, maybe even one who stays active to keep his belly down, so they can enjoy the ice cream of life, not just rippling abs. Someone who offers to bring in my trash can when it's on the street, won't panic when one of the dogs throws up their dinner, someone who knows what to expect with teen-agers in the house. Someone who gets right off the freeway and stops when I say I need a latte, and I need it now.

What I've learned is that Pretty boys come in all ages, but I prefer men.

The Web site I'd like to see

Chemistry-Compatibility-Personality traits

Different sites believe they have 'the' answer to helping make us all a great match! Terrific! Some keep it a big secret, some color code your profile, yes seriously! These are our 'primary motivators'. There is:

Blue - Intimacy
Yellow - Fun
White - Peace
Red - Power

Mine says I'm Blue 37%, Yellow 24%, White 22% Red 18%

We all have some of each, and this website shows our percentages. The little colors pop up when you check some one's profile. What does it all mean? I'm sure I do NOT know.

When you read profiles, you never know, is this the truth, a bold faced lie, or just a personal interpretation.

Here is the website percentages I'd like to see pop up:

Honesty as Abe:
Puffing or just has trouble express themselves with the written word:
Misguided sense of self:
Saying what they think you want to hear:



Have a great Blue, Yellow, White, Red Day!

Lessons from a friend

I've learned a lot about daily life from one of my best friends, our black lab mix Snickers.

1. It is good to bring joy to someone else. I can make Snickers happy with 6 little words, "Want to go for a walk?" He wags his rump and heads straight to where his leash is kept.

2. When you climb the hills in life it is good to do so with a friend. Snickers helps drag me up the hills, when my enthusiasm for the walk wanes.

3. Be prepared. Life brings us 'poop' on a daily basis, be prepared (plastic bag) to deal with it.

4. You might have to deal with 'poop', but you don't have to carry it around all day. Dump it as soon as possible.

5. Trust your instincts. Even the best of friends might want to chase some squirrels, this doesn't mean we have to!

Trolling

Trolling for a catch, is how the Internet dating often seems to be. Like we are just in a big sea of fish/dates and some people (I assume women do this to men too, so I'll not just say 'men') are throwing their hooks out there ready to catch anything that comes by. These 'trolling fisher-people' also assume we (the fish) are the dumbest fish in the sea, ready to grab onto any old hook that lands our way.

In the last 24 hours the following 'hooks' have been thrown my way:

58, no picture (always scary), lives with parents/extended family, pet gerbil (I did not make ANY of this up)

42 - Kansas City (hell of a commute for a coffee date), he states he is a business man and does consulting work, cut and pasted here's a bit of what he has to say:

"I was born in united state of america.i grow up there .after that i willtravel to malasyia,for business."

(This particular hook is looking for a really stupid fish)

2 of the other 'hooks' profiles have already been removed, hence they were just 'scamers' looking to take advantage of some desperate and dumb fish/dates.

All this talk about fish makes me think that for lunch today... I'll have a cheese burger.

Dating ads I'd love to see

Every dating site has advertising of the couples who have found their 'match'. I do believe that they are probably true (yes, Polyanna is alive and well). The couples do vary in age, but other than that they are of course great looking, trim and have all their teeth.

I want to see the other matches. Who matched up with:

the woman who has 9 cats?
the guy whose dog drinks beer?
the woman with so much black eye make up on she might be part racoon?
the man wearing the wife beater on his motorcycle?
the woman who's pictures are 10 years old and the guy didn't care?????
the people with no pictures at all?
the people kissing their poodles? (okay, I didn't really see that one, but you know that they do)!

now that would be some addvertising!

out on the ledge the new profile is UP

Just so you know what you are missing (ha..ha..) here is the main body of the new profile...


I do enjoy a bit of competition, but this is not the place for it. I'd rather have a few great matches contact me, than just LOTS of contacts. So I'm going against the grain, not being generic and giving you all the reasons (with thanks to Jeff Foxworthy) to click to the next profile.

I might be a bad match if:

You only like petite!
You don't really exist, but I may have won the Nigerian lottery
You don't like to take walks or be outside
You hate dogs and kids

I might be a bad match if:

You'd never be caught dead in Starbucks
You find traveling a hassle
You only play games that require sitting quietly while the other person is 'thinking'
You don't understand why I'd go to church on Saturday night just because I heard the music would be great.

I might be a bad match if:

You'd hate my hollering at the TV during football season
You don't like going to the teen's events like comedy night, music and games
You hate holding hands and affection
You don't like outdoor concerts or casual get-togethers

I might be a bad match if:

You think honesty, integrity and character are optional
You're divorced and do not know 'what your part' was.
You do not donate time or money to something.

and finally I might be a bad match if:

You like Eeyore more than Tigger
You find light hearted, up beat, caring people 'silly'
You do not try to be the best parent you can be

Walks on the beach

If you've read any profiles at all, be it man or woman... 95% say they like to walk on the beach. Well, I don't really. I don't like sand in my shoes or tar on my toes and after one short walk my poor old feet are in need of a pedicure!

I love to walk almost anywhere and if there's a board walk at the beach I'm your gal.

My Internet dating escapes have spanned a little over a year and if you read this with any regularity you know I'm nearing my 50th big day.

I'm ready for Patience and a profile that is not like vanilla ice cream, a bit more like me (choc chip mint with a dash of peanut butter and choc... yummy) I'm going to take some time to rewrite my profile, like me - honest, humorous and caring. One that most people would go hmmmm, next, but that just a few who may truly be a great match might contact me.

It will take patience, but you can remind me, that 'someday my prince will come' and he too will not be vanilla...

The good thing...

The good about dating Old Guys is that they're already old. One doesn't need a lot of imagination and our expectations can be fairly reasonable. We know exactly what they'll look like when they get old, because they already are.

We know what kind of father they are, what kind of worker and how much energy they have or don't have. We know if they'll have hair in strange places (which as we age are becoming less strange). What you see is certainly what you get and that is refreshing.

I like old guys.

New Beginnings

So begins my new life just shy of my 50th birthday, after 3 1/2 years of being Separated our divorce was final a few days ago. Out of being in that limbo state feels good. Ending a marriage, although for there to be life for any of us, it had to happen was still sad. Not the train we'd so hopefully got on.

I have not truly been single since I was 25 years old!! Almost half my life ago, wow!

I've done my best to heal what needs to be healed and am moving forward with hope and joy.

In that I launched my profile on a new and different personal dating site. It works differently than the one I understood in the past, we'll see if I like it or not. I had to crack up though it asks for turn-ons and turn-offs. So long hair on men turns me off, hey, it asked! So I clicked the little box... then cracked up! No one in my age group has enough hair for it to be long! Bald is getting cuter everyday, and it is a good thing!

Single Awareness Day

Surely you've heard of this? Single Awareness Day, my son says this is what 'we' (singles) will be celebrating on February 14th.

I for one really prefer 'regular' days instead of 'holidays'. New Year's eve, Valentine's day and Mother's day are not my favorite days. I'm not complaining, just stating a fact. I prefer to extend my love to those I care about on a regular basis on regular days.

So we (the singles I live with) will muddle through this Valentine's day. I for one will be in gratitute for my father, who I still miss, not only as my first Valentine but as it is his birthday as well.