A date today or not...

I am 50 today.

There is no 'man' date. But I count so many blessings and my glass (well, currently coffee mug) is more than half full! I am blessed by you, my friends who continue to encourage and enjoy my ramblings here on this blog.

I am blessed by friends who have called, written and send me best wishes.

I am blessed by my 2 brothers and 2 sisters who have sent me flowers and sent me a gift certificate to grow more flowers, fueling my passion for digging in the dirt.

I am blessed by my wonderful children, who tease me about being old (with a twinkle in their eye), stick up for me, brought me coffee and peanut butter toast in bed, plan to learn how to make my favorite dinner (old family recipe) and who are the light of my life.

I am blessed by all that is still yet to come here on my lily pad.

I am blessed by my Lord's love for me.

thank you for being a part of it,

Lola ;}

If pictures speak a 1000 words....

I've heard it said that men do not read what you write, so keep your profile brief. To some extent that does make sense, I tend to glaze over a bit with profiles that go on and on. Some men even say if there is no picture and they will not respond. I don't blame them there either.

Pictures are extremely telling and we all want to see them. Are they too poised? Fake? Funny? Real? or Scary?

However.... I'm just wondering.... if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, perhaps I should include some pictures of my famous meatloaf?????

Motor cycles

I drove by 3 guys standing around a motor cycle talking and looking at the bike. I realized that this is NEVER something you'd see women do! You just know they'd all lowered their voices an octave and were saying stuff like, "Oh, yeah, it's headers are heady and the torque is sweet. She just screams on the mountain roads. Grunt. Scratch".

Now I finally understand why on their profiles they have pictures of their 'bikes'....

they think we care!

What 'they are looking for'...

I can find these funny or scary, but either way, probably not a match for me....

Some quotes of what men are looking for, specifically written in black and white in their profile:

- likes to motorcycle and is good at setting up the camp site

- someone with good grooming

- an IQ of 135 to 150

- outgoing attractive female

- easy going, fun, no drama

- Nice looking mature peaceful loving and patient Christian man looking for new wife

-The woman I am searching for will have experienced the pride and accomplishment of attaining her collegiate educational goals. She may have extended those goals in pursuit of continued education, formal or otherwise, a goal for which I would be the cornerstone of support. She would be radiant and self confident, a person that is or has experienced professional success and desires a partner that is likewise focused and continues to be ambitious in all endeavors.

- I would love to meet someone that is honest and sincere with a kind heart and a gentle spirit.

Ya, I like the last one....

Wink

What the heck is a wink on the Internet? Match.com has a feature where you can 'wink' at other people's profiles. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?????

Is it a:

polite hello, saw your profile, good luck?

a wolf whistle from the entire construction crew?

an I'm not really single, want to have an affair?

I'm too lazy to write anything, why don't you start?

I'm shy and I'm hoping this goes somewhere?

I'm not really real, but I'd love your money, wire directly to Nigeria?


I've received 32 winks. I have no idea if that is good or pathetic. The reality is that it doesn't matter, because these have gone no where, which is probably safer for me. I know that a lot of men don't understand this whole wink thing either, because some of their profiles even say, "No winks, please". Good for them, they are probably the save ones.

The thing is, in real life, I love a wink. It is a bit like a hug from across the room, as for the Internet, I have NO idea!

ah, well, have a great wink-full day! ;}

Circumventing the system

Internet dating sites are a business, thereby they charge you a fee to belong. They do let you 'browse' for free. On many you can even put up a profile for free. If you want to communicate with the other members you need to be a paying member. Now that really does not seem unreasonable does it? The fees to join? Well, usually a six month membership is a bit less than a nice dinner date. You have options to even pay by the month or quarter. Again, not unreasonable. After all, they are selling 'true love' here!

There are some men (they get picked on because I'm not on the site looking at the woman's profiles) who place a lot of effort to getting around paying this fee. They put up their profile and act like paying members, but somewhere in their profile, they tell you that they are 'currently not able to respond on this website', but you can reach them at blah, blah, blah @ blah-blah, if you are interested. This is where they get creative and give you their email, in a cryptic fashion. So, you have to figure out their email, then contact them, etc... just to find out they are a user and probably a cheapskate to boot.

My advice when you see that, grab your wallet and run for the hills.

I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore...

This time I had decided to use a different site. The numbers where very high there, so it seemed like a good decision. Now, I'd seen this sight before and wasn't too crazy about it. There was something a bit 'shallow' with the sight and I'd heard that some people used it to find dates while still married on this sight. Now that can go on anywhere, so I tried to 'stomach' it all and give it a try. What can I say? After 5 weeks it still doesn't seem like a good fit.

There is a huge percentage of men 'matches' that all live in New Port Beach. Now how can that be??? Yes, I am a bit naive, today I finally realized that they are not all being truthful. Ahhhh, ha! They probably live 'close' to New Port Beach and as we know 'close' is a relative term. I'm not even interested in dating anyone at New Port Beach anyway! Do you know how long it takes to get there?

Why don't we just start a site that is called "Shallow.com" This will be great for people who think living in one town is better than another, telling the truth is optional and using people, just part of life.

I think it is time to pack my profile and find a better fit.

Laid back

Honestly, it is not all that easy to write a profile about one self. However, if I read one more man's profile that states they are a 'laid back guy', I am going to scream. What does that mean anyway?

It does not necessarily mean patient, calm or understanding.

In my experience I'm pretty sure it means that they are 'laid back' in the Lazy Boy recliner and would like someone to bring them a 'brew'.

Oh No!

Oh no, it has happened! Last night on a dating site I saw a friend's husband. Yuck, yuck, shmu..... double darn.

I have not been in close contact with this friend so for all I know, they may well be separated, however, I know they are not divorced and there is just something stinky in La Crescenta. Our sons birthday's are just a few days apart and so the boys are 17. In his profile he says his son is 18. Either he truly is clueless or is trying to seem.... more available??? He also states he is 'drama free'. Yeah, I don't think so!

And yes, I do intend to let my friend know...

No Weird-O filter

I've been on a few different sites now and have yet to find one that has a 'weird-o' filter. 'Weird-o's exist everywhere, and yes I know to some, I am the weird-o. Sites are like stadiums at a college football game. We may all be there to watch the same game, but we're not all rooting for the same team, happy with the same hot dogs, or even want to be sitting next to the loony stranger who we've got to endure for the next 3 hours.

You may be familiar with the term "Equally Yoked". I do want to be 'equally yoked', so I've been to 2 different Christian sites because of this. You'd think this alone would be a great 'weird-o' filter. I have one word for that thought.... NOT!! The sites have a much smaller population than other sites and a much larger 'weird-o' factor, sorry Lord. I'm glad you love them, but once again 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and I do not want to be holding any of them.