Hope or Fear

I've just realized that fear and hope can not exist together. I can not hold hope, unless I am willing to let go of fear. I am working fairly diligently on making better decisions and creating new patterns of behaviour and thinking. This is a bit harder than one would imagine, because my knowledge is of a relationship that had patterns and behaviour that was not healthy and ultimately did not work. Figuring out my 'part' in that and not repeating it, is an on going process. All of which makes me more whole and healthier, which also makes me a better partner and a better mother.

I find myself practicing new ways of behaving, and then double checking with those I trust. "Is this what healthy people do?" I've got to tell you this transition is a lot of work. However, therein lies the 'hope'. New healthy behavior, to lead to a healthier relationship.

New behavior is hard, but doable. Letting go of fear is the next step. Once I realized if I want 'Hope', I've got to let go of 'Fear', it all seems a bit clearer to me. I'm excited, yes a bit a trepidation, but looking forward once again to the possibilities that life has to offer.