I've just realized that fear and hope can not exist together. I can not hold hope, unless I am willing to let go of fear. I am working fairly diligently on making better decisions and creating new patterns of behaviour and thinking. This is a bit harder than one would imagine, because my knowledge is of a relationship that had patterns and behaviour that was not healthy and ultimately did not work. Figuring out my 'part' in that and not repeating it, is an on going process. All of which makes me more whole and healthier, which also makes me a better partner and a better mother.
I find myself practicing new ways of behaving, and then double checking with those I trust. "Is this what healthy people do?" I've got to tell you this transition is a lot of work. However, therein lies the 'hope'. New healthy behavior, to lead to a healthier relationship.
New behavior is hard, but doable. Letting go of fear is the next step. Once I realized if I want 'Hope', I've got to let go of 'Fear', it all seems a bit clearer to me. I'm excited, yes a bit a trepidation, but looking forward once again to the possibilities that life has to offer.
November 15, 2008
November 3, 2008
What do you call him?
I am dating one man. I can handle saying that. I can say, "Oh, the man I'm dating". I can even call him by his name, which happens to be the same as my father's, but I think I already went over that dilemma.
However, I get tongue tied and trip all over the words at, oh alright then, b..b..boyfriend. I mean he is 55 years old for heaven's sake! He hasn't been a boy for a very, very long time, in fact his boys are almost not boys anymore.
Clearly we need a bit more vocabulary here. 'Boyfriend', just sounds... funny, odd and weird. 'Man friend' sounds like something from a Frankenstein movie. To say, 'my friend' sounds gay and I although I happen to adore gays, I am not, so that doesn't help. There are a few other words I could use, but they actually only get me into more trouble.
When I told him one lunch that one of the kids had called him, my 'boyfriend'. He just smiled.
However, I get tongue tied and trip all over the words at, oh alright then, b..b..boyfriend. I mean he is 55 years old for heaven's sake! He hasn't been a boy for a very, very long time, in fact his boys are almost not boys anymore.
Clearly we need a bit more vocabulary here. 'Boyfriend', just sounds... funny, odd and weird. 'Man friend' sounds like something from a Frankenstein movie. To say, 'my friend' sounds gay and I although I happen to adore gays, I am not, so that doesn't help. There are a few other words I could use, but they actually only get me into more trouble.
When I told him one lunch that one of the kids had called him, my 'boyfriend'. He just smiled.
November 2, 2008
Why adults need Internet dating sites
My daughter is in Jr. High. The key to surviving this painful passage of life is to have a good friend. I'm witness that all of life's pains and joys are better shared with a good friend or friends.
When you're in Jr. High and you 'like' someone, a good friend plays a crucial roll. They are the one who literally pushes you into the boy you like when passing in the hall. Once you get pushed into them, you have the opportunity to speak with them. Simple isn't it?
Once you're an adult having your friend around at the right moment to 'push' you into some handsome man in Starbucks, is just a bit more complicated.
When you're in Jr. High and you 'like' someone, a good friend plays a crucial roll. They are the one who literally pushes you into the boy you like when passing in the hall. Once you get pushed into them, you have the opportunity to speak with them. Simple isn't it?
Once you're an adult having your friend around at the right moment to 'push' you into some handsome man in Starbucks, is just a bit more complicated.
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